I gave my talk today. Despite the fact that my printer wouldn't print my talk--it took me until 3:30 in the morning to figure that out--and I was tired as all get out, it went well enough.

The thing about being up at the podium is you can see everyone... for a short time, all of their attention is on you, and they're depending on you to say something that will inspire them, and present the gospel to them from a fresh perspective. I love being able to do that.

But while you can see everyone... they can see you. And my secret hypocrisy was woven throughout my voice... the way I hesitated, and stumbled over words, and couldn't find the words I wanted... I work enough in public speaking that I don't have that problem anymore, unless I'm trying to hide something. I could hear the rotten lie in my voice, and couldn't tolerate it. So I did what any conscientious Mormon laurel giving a talk on charity would do.

I told the truth. I told them all that I haven't been taking my own advice, and I committed to stepping up to my own plate.

And as much as I don't want to, I know I have no choice. I can't be afraid of this skeleton anymore. I have to reach out to my father...

I have to be Christ-like.


  1. I am so proud of you! This is a good step to be taking; I think it will make you happier in the end.

    It seems as though talks are always targeted at our weaknesses. Darn that spiritual insight the Bishopric seems to have. So much easier to be complacent. :D

    You amaze me, and I'm behind you 110%!

  2. Good job, good goals! I think that most of us have had some kind of an experience like this in the church - we receive a calling or assignment, not because we're the best one to do it, but because we're the one who needs it the most. I hope it works out. I have a friend who grew up with an alcoholic, and he's 40 and still very emotionally scarred. He did come to peace with the whole thing, though - though it took many years. I'll be praying for you.


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